Yay Olympics!!

I am so excited that the Olympics are starting Friday! I have loved watching the Games as far back as I can remember. It's in my genes. My Grandma and Grandpa Hornyak became Olympic superfans in 1976, the year Nadia Comaneci became the first gymnast to score a perfect 10. Although Grandma was Hungarian, she was born in Romania so Nadia's victory meant a lot to her. To get you in the mood for Friday's opening ceremonies, I thought I'd share two cool Olympic links with you.

The first is to my friend Walters' blog. He works for NBC Sports and has been on the job at every Olympics since I've known him (9 years now), the lucky bastard. He loves to do lists and top tens like I do and he's posted the first 50 of 100 Cliff Clavinesque Olympic facts here: The Great Pall of China. There's some funny stuff in there. Several items about Hungarians. Are we funny? I didn't know. Update: facts 51-100 are now posted at GEBRSELASSIE COME HOME.

The second link was sent by Susana, who screws around at work way too much. It's a video shot by a couple of average guys out to try their hands at some Olympic events to see how they compare to the athletes. They attempt the 100-meter freestyle, 100-meter sprint, long jump, 110-meter hurdles, and gymnastic rings. There's a split screen view of them and actual athletes during the swimming and running events, and you can see how much longer it takes the regular guys to finish while the athletes are hugging and congratulating one another on being incredibly awesome. The hurdles and rings are the funniest parts because these guys clearly haven't a clue between them about either event. Click here to check it out: Average vs. Olympians. Storm (my horsey) and I could star in a comparison video for the equestrian events. It would show my horsey cantering up to a wall, slamming on the brakes instead of jumping it, while I slide right up his neck. Or it could show him trying to munch the leaves off the hedges as we ride by them. Or me trying to jump him over a puddle of water while he prances and paws his big scaredy self all around the edges. He's lazy and he's a baby, but I do love him.

Have fun watching the Olympics, it's way better than Nashville Star or Celebrity Family Feud!

Love, K10

Happy Birthday to me

I love birthdays. Your birthday, my birthday, George Washington’s birthday—any reason to celebrate is good with me! You know me, always up for a party.

This year, however, my birthday wasn’t much of a party. I’ve been dreadfully sick with a respiratory virus and bronchitis that has been casing big problems with my asthma for over two weeks now. The medicine I’m taking for the asthma actually makes me feel worse than I did before I started taking it, so I haven’t been doing anything I don’t absolutely have to. Therefore, I had planned a very quiet birthday Saturday. Unfortunately, earlier in the week David’s Uncle Virg passed away due to chronic heart problems and the funeral fell on Saturday morning. So, we started my 37th birthday by mourning the loss of a very sweet and wonderful man. It was crummy and rainy, but the service was lovely and it really captured his spirit. I spent the rest of the day at home, making salsa, tequila-lime chicken and chili-steak taco meat for my birthday supper. I did get a birthday call from my dad and that was somewhat of a miracle. Not because I didn’t think he’d call, but because he called from Luckenbach, Texas. They have a cell tower in Luckenbach? Bid and Erin came over and we had supper then walked down to the Bristol Homecoming to watch the fireworks and carnies. Both were equally entertaining. If you’re ever feeling low on self-esteem, I recommend a trip to your local county fair or carnival. You’ll feel right back on top of the pinnacle of society. After Erin and I munched down most of our elephant ears and the last firework had burnt permanent spots into our retinas, we walked back home. I loaded up with the multiple medications that keep me breathing and passed out from exhaustion. I woke up Sunday with what felt like a hangover. I am only 37. Surely it can’t be this bad already?

Today I had my second birthday party. My co-workers cooked up a lively celebration for me. Knowing my unnatural aversion to feet, every year they find new ways to cruelly torture me with podiatric kitsch. They are such a kind bunch. This year I got a homemade card covered with foot photos, a rubber squeaky foot toy and (most impressively) a flip-flop piñata. After resting up yesterday, I do have a bit more energy and was able to smack the crap out of that flip-flop (I will have a video to post very soon). Beating something to a pulp gave me back a little more faith that I will recover from this illness to feel normal again and maybe it’s not so bad being 37.

Today Anna-Marie is flying in from LA to visit for the week and Friday night Renea is coming down. So that will be my third birthday party. I’ve got my fingers crossed that by then I’ll be much closer to being well so we can do our usual girls night out: Hacienda for dinner then Harrison Landing to hang out with Renea’s brother Pat, talking and catching up until the wee hours. I’m not sure how wee the hours will be this time, but we’ll have fun nonetheless cuz we’re BFFs and that’s how we roll! And, since I’m the youngest of the three, I may be able to appreciate my age even more by thinking that Anna-Marie will be 38 in September and Renea will be 38 in October. Hee!

As Dad pointed out, from Luckenbach, I am now exactly half his age. From this year on, I’m catching up to him. So I guess I’m gonna have to make a serious effort for every birthday from here forward to be the best that’s ever been. Next year: Showbiz Pizza Place! You’re all invited.

Love, K10

Dog Day Afternoon

Today is National Take Your Dog to Work Day. For the third year in a row, I’ve organized TYDtWD at Ave Maria Press. We have always had pretty good participation, but his year was the most successful. We had 10 dogs in the office today: 2 of them in my department, 2 in editorial, 2 in customer service, and 4 in marketing. There were a couple of little dogs—a toy Poodle and a mixed breed, some medium-sized—a Lab mix, a Wheaten, a Bassett Hound, and another mixed breed, and the big boys—a Goldendoodle, two yellow Labs and Hagrid the gigantic Collie.


Every year, I’ve put up a fenced-in area off the side of the building and we have play time for all the dogs. We vote on awards and last year we even had a talent contest. This year, my friend Jillian helped me out. She came up with the idea of a beach theme and having a costume contest. She also organized some really cute games. We had a race where each contestant had to run holding the dog’s leash and a spoon balancing a potato in the same hand (pictured). Hagrid won that event hands down. All those early morning runs have really paid off for him. He didn’t even know he was in training! We also played musical simon says. We walked around in a circle to music and when the music cut out the judge would call out a command like “Sit.” The last dog to carry out the command was out. Hagrid did OK, but they got to some commands he doesn’t know like, “Speak,” and “Roll Over,” and he was knocked out of contention. Then we had the costume contest. I thought that with the beach theme, everyone would go for the Hawaiian shirts and leis, so Hagrid dressed up as Gilligan. He didn’t win the contest, Oliver the Goldendoodle dressed as a Parrothead and he stole the show (pictured). Then everyone voted on beach-themed awards like, “Buff enough to wear a Speedo,” and “Most likely to make a splash.” Hagrid won the “Chillin' on the beach with a margarita” award. My friend Susana’s toy Poodle, Max, won “Most likely to become shark bait.” Hee.

Everyone had fun except those spoil sports around here who don’t like dogs (it’s unconstitutional, I tell you). We are so lucky that our boss, Tom, is a dog-lover. If it were up to me, there would be a dog in the office every day.

It’s time to go home now and Hagrid is ready. He’s sleeping under my desk. I’m sure he has some stories to tell his sister (who was just in the office Wednesday because she had to go to the vet). I know he is going to sleep like a rock tonight. Maybe he’ll even let me sleep in tomorrow! Probably just wishful thinking...

Have a great weekend!
Love, K10

Hap Birf Bid!!

Today is Biddy's 34th birthday. He probably won't celebrate with a PBR like he did at his first birthday, though. We're going to Hacienda (Dad's favorite "authentic" Mexican restaurant) so I'm betting on a margarita instead.

When Bid was about 8 years old, Mom gave him a book with a flimsy little record in the back that had birthday a song recorded on it that used his name in it (8 times!). To this day, Bid and I remember the words to that song, and every year on his birthday I call him and sing it to him. Just the other day, we were discussing that song and Bid Googled it. Guess what? You can now buy mp3s of the EXACT SAME SONG. So, of course, I did. And I posted it (in a link, below) so (hopefully) everyone can share in the joy of Bid's birthday.
Happy Birthday Billy Song

Through the magic of technology, they now have anniversary, wedding, and Christmas versions, which are particularly hilarious because it is the same birthday song recorded in 1976, but they've newly edited "Anniversary," "Wedding," or "Christmas" in where "Birthday" should be. If the above link doesn't work, you can go to www.captainzoom.com and listen to the birthday/anniversary/wedding/Christmas cheese for yourself!!

Love, K-10

The 40-year-old Fisherman

June 1st was David's 40th birthday, but on May 31st I threw him a surprise birthday party.

It was easy getting him out of the house because he had a fishing tournament and his fishin' buddy Ed promised me he'd keep David busy afterward. With lots of help, I cooked the food, cleaned the house and set up chairs, tables and a shade awning in the backyard all in one day. Thanks to Sus, Biddy, Erin, Kelly and Dwight everything was ready when David got home. He had a little hint of what was going on when he saw 20 cars parked in front of the house (can't really hide cars in our neighborhood). But, the real surprise came when he saw his whole family and a bunch of his friends all waiting for him on the deck and patio. We even rounded up Rich and Ryan (pictured), his two best buddies from grade school, and their fourth partner in crime, Ray, called from Florida to say Happy Birthday. The guys stayed on late telling story after story from the old days. The kind of stories that make me glad I don't have kids who are going to do that stuff.

I think David had a pretty good birthday, even if it was the 40th!

Happy Birthday Erin!!!

Today is my sister-in-law Erin’s birthday. She was born in 1979 so I thought it would be fun to take a look back at some of the amazing things that have happened in the world since Erin came along.

1979—Erin is born! She learns to walk, talk, smile and be very cute.
President Jimmy Carter is attacked by a swamp rabbit while fishing in his hometown Plains, Georgia. I guess that rules out Georgia as the off-season home of the Easter Bunny.
A "Disco Demolition Night" publicity stunt goes awry at Comiskey Park, forcing the Chicago White Sox to forfeit their game against the Detroit Tigers. It’s the Devil’s music, I tell you!
The Entertainment Sports Programing Network, known as ESPN, debuts. And it became the official channel of Hooters everywhere.
The #1 song of the year was “My Sharona” by The Knack. And Rod Stewart came at #4 with “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy.” He. Was. Robbed.

The 80’s—Erin learns to read, run and play and goes to Elementary school.
1980—In Vanuatu, followers of John Frum's cargo cult on the island of Tanna declare secession as the nation of Tafea. Jeff Probst presided over the ceremony.
1981—The first De Lorean DMC-12 automobile, a stainless steel sports car with gull-wing doors, rolls off the production line in Dunmurry, Northern Ireland. Simultaneously, Doc Brown falls off a toilet and cracks his head…
1982—Larry Walters, a.k.a. Lawn Chair Larry, flies 16,000 feet above Long Beach, California in lawn chair with weather balloons attached. His brother, Massive Head Wound Harry, having failed multiple attempts.
1983—During the anniversary show Motown 25: Yesterday, Today, Forever Michael Jackson thrills the audience by dancing and singing while performing his hit song Billie Jean. The highlight of his act is his signature move ; the moonwalk, which he performs in public for the first time. This performance also marks his first public exhibition of crotch-grabbing. From beyond the grave, Elvis remarks to Ed Sullivan, “How could they show THAT?”
1984—Seven people are shot and killed and 12 wounded in the Milperra massacre, a shootout between the rival motorcycle gangs Bandidos and Comancheros in Sydney. Really, Sydney? Cuz I thought those guys were from Goshen.
1985—The Nintendo Entertainment System is released in US stores. Bill’s thumbs begin twitching involuntarily.
1986—"Captain Midnight" interrupts the HBO satellite feed. Captain Caveman pulls a portable TV, satellite dish, La-Z-Boy and bag of chips out of his fur and kicks back to watch.
1987—NASCAR driver Bill Elliott sets all time fastest lap at Talladega Superspeedway. 212.8 miles per hour (342.5 km/h). Afterward he told reporters, “That. Just. Happened.”
1988—Former pop singer Sonny Bono is elected mayor of Palm Springs, California. Unfortunately he does not wear his furry vest to the inaguration.
1989—The first crack in the Iron Curtain - Hungary dismantles 150 miles of barbed wire fencing along the border with Austria. Thousands of Hungarian dogs immediately ran to poop in their Austrian neighbor’s yards.

The 90’s—Erin learns to study, drive and date, and goes to Junior High, High School and College.
1990—The Royal New Zealand Navy discontinues its daily rum ration. Capt. Jack Sparrow promptly becomes a pirate.
1991—One month after Freddie Mercury's death, Queen's re-release of Bohemian Rhapsody returns to the top of the British singles charts, 16 years after the original version. Wayne and Garth chant, “We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy.”
1992—George H. W. Bush is televised falling violently ill at a state dinner in Japan, vomiting into the lap of Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa and fainting. The rest of the tape is later released revealing the world leaders participating in the ancient Japanese custom of sake-pong.
1993—Beavis and Butt-Head debuts on MTV. Eh-heh-heh-heh. Huh-huh. You said Butthead.
1994—FL star O.J. Simpson and his friend Al Cowlings flee from police in his white Ford Bronco. The low-speed chase ends at Simpson's Brentwood, Los Angeles, California mansion, where he surrenders. Seriously. The guy couldn’t afford a better car than a Ford Bronco after selling off his Heisman Trophy?
1995—he Draupner wave in the North Sea in Norway is detected, confirming the existence of freak waves. I believe they prefer to be called Goth waves. Freak is so politically incorrect.
1996— Motorola introduces the Motorola StarTAC Wearable Cellular Telephone, the world's smallest and lightest mobile phone at that time. You remember, the phone Zack Morris had on Saved By the Bell?
1997—The highest grossing movie of all time, James Cameron's Titanic, premiers in the U.S.. From that moment on, cruise ship passengers everywhere insist on standing on the bow of the ship so they can exclaim, “I’m the king of the world!”
1998—The Chicago Bulls win their 6th NBA title in 8 years when they beat the Utah Jazz, 87-86 in Game Six. This is also Michael Jordan's last game as a Bull, clinching the game in the final seconds on a fadeaway jumper. Bill builds a shrine in his bedroom.
1999— Texas Governor George W. Bush announces he will seek the Republican Party nomination for President of the United States. The apocalypse begins.

The 00’s—Erin meets Bill, learns to fall in love, moves to Texas and Pennsylvania, gets married and moves back home again.
2000— U.S. retail giant Montgomery Ward announces it is going out of business after 128 years. Thousands of people are forced to shop at Sears for their Toughskins jeans.
2001— Wikipedia is founded. And that is where I found all this random crap.
2002— Iran bans the advertising of United States products. Hundreds of Iranians gather in protest singing, “588-2300, EMPIRE!”
2003—The WHO issues a global alert on SARS. “That Pinball Wizard’s got S-A-R-S yeah!”
2004—The last Oldsmobile rolls off of the assembly line. Grandpas everywhere bemoan, “In my day, Oldsmobiles were the best cars you could buy! Those damn Jap imports are ruining our country!”
2005—Internet site Youtube goes online. Work productivity in the United States falls by 7%.
2006— The Miami Heat win the NBA Finals over the Dallas Mavericks, 4-2. Bill and Erin drown their sorrows in Holiday Punch.
2007—A 2100-year-old melon is discovered by archaeologists in western Japan. That would make some kick-ass Midori!
2008—Erin turns 29!!!

I'm so glad she's my sister-in-law!

Love, K10

If I Had a Million Dollars . . .

David and I had an adventure Sunday. Ed Wilsey, owner of Medallion Plastics and David's fishing buddy, is a pilot and he owns a helicopter. He called us up Sunday morning and asked if we wanted to go flying! We flew from the Elkhart airport up into Michigan, flying north over Edwardsburg, then Jones, then east to Three Rivers and Sturgis, looking at all the lakes along the way. David and Ed were checking out all the good fishing spots and decided which lake they would fish that afternoon and Ed's wife, Marsha, was looking out for a nice lake to buy a house on this summer. I was just looking and taking pictures. After we flew over Klinger Lake in Sturgis, we turned back west and flew right over Grass Lake where Jeffrey and Nikki's house is. I got some good shots. Theirs is the great big one with the dirt yard (it's new so they haven't had a chance to plant a lawn yet).



I had never ridden in a helicopter before, but I love to fly. It's not as loud or shaky as you'd think. In fact, it was quieter than most of the commuter planes out of South Bend. We wore headphones with microphones to talk to each other and we could hear Ed and airport control talking to each other. You don't have to duck or run when you approach it and it won't suck you in and cut your head off. In fact, it didn't even blow my hair around much. If I had millions of dollars at my disposal, I'd totally learn how to fly and buy one. You don't have to file flight plans and can pretty much go anywhere. You also don't realize how fast you are going. Ed and Marsha fly down to Indy for day trips pretty often and it only takes a little over an hour to get there. I'm not sure what kind of gas mileage a helicopter gets, but then again, if I had millions of dollars I wouldn't care!

Oh, and if you ever have millions of dollars and buy a helicopter, please give me a ride. It's really fun!

Love, K10